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This is where you will ask us questions. Alana, will try to help solve your problems. (This is her page) (Please don't use any real names.) This page relates to school, family, relationships or other. The newest letters are at the top highlited in red. You can see the previous advice by clicking on the following link - Previous Dear Alana, I need some advice on boys! There is this boy that i have a MAJOR crush on and he looks at me and he is so cute, But the thing is i want to talk to him but i am nerves to talk to him. HELP!!!!! -AM You don't have to approach him alone. If he's with his friends, you can go with your friends because sometimes it's easier to. If that doesn't work, you can wait until he's alone to say hello. You don't have to get into this right away. You can always wait. However, don't stare at him too often. It will freak him out. - Alana :)
I really like this guy, but he's obviously out of my league, and has a girl friend. What do I do? Dear Anonymous, If you don't know this guy, you can casually get to know him. Don't sell yourself short by thinking he's out of your league. There's no harm in being friends. However, since he has a girlfriend, it's better not to interfere. That doesn't mean you can't have a crush. You don't have to limit yourself to this one guy, and there are plenty of people to meet. Don't be afraid to get out there and say hello. -Alana :) Hi Alana, I was in a lot of trouble, and I was so not happy now that it is over. I feel like it will happen again so what should I do so I do not feel like it will happen again? Dear Anonymous, We all make mistakes. If you did something to offend someone, you can always apologize. However, the best thing to do after trouble is learn from your mistakes. If this incident is something small, don't worry too much about it. -Alana :) Dear Alana, I need some adivce!! There is this guy who keeps bugging me and is always asking me to the snowball dance and wants me to slow dance with him. But he is my EX-boyfiend and I told him to leave me alone but he doesn't. What should I do?- AM Dear AM, This guy probably still has feelings for you. If you have moved on, then, he should respect that. If he continues to bug you, then tell a trusted adult about what's going on. Usually adults have more authority than kids. If that doesn't work, try and get your parents to help you out. -Alana :) Dear Alana, I have knowed the guy nextdoor since I was two, and the other night we were playing a glow-in-the-dark-game(in the dark,alone) and he was sitting so close to me that we were touching each other. then he put his arm around me. He has a girlfriend that he seems to like, but me and him are just really close best friends. Also one night after he did that, I was getting in to my pajamas and he was at my window wondering if I wanted to watch a movie with him, alone at 11:30 PM. Is he trying to tell me something? Or does he just starting to like me...alot? -LS Dear LS, It's hard with guys, and we won't always know what they're saying. Is he showing other signs like trying to get you two alone, or staring at you a lot now? Are his other friends suddenly 'busy'? However, he could also be just a friend and you would be way that he could see what girls are like and enjoy company with. Maybe he's having troubles with his girlfriend. If he is trying to tell you something, don't jump to conclusions. Ask casually if something's up. Don't rush into things and enjoy being friends for now. He could like two girls at the same time and might not want to get into anything serious. -Alana:) Dear Alana, Ok I have a "Friend" an she told me she hates this girl and now shes with the girl hanging out with her when she was suppose to come to my house and their getting their other friend to start trouble with me :-(... She said I had PhD?? What does Phd mean????.... I feel so horrible and lost and sick and everything please help me out... Sincerely, Sadened Dear Sadened, People often misuse the word 'hate.' Some use it to blow off steam, and some use it to say that they don't like things a person does. So the whole she-says-she-hates-her-but-hangs-out-with-her-anyway scenario could say that she was just angry with something. About the word PHD. I'm not familiar with the word but a quick search told me that it originated in hip hop culture about someone who messes up someone's chance with a girl (usually a guy "playa"). Your friend could be using it in reference to her belief that you are messing up the friendship with this other girl. If she is mad for some reason, let her cool down. If she accidently forgot about going to your house, remind her next time. Try not to let this girl continue to make trouble when she's around you. -Alana :) Hello I go to a school where change is not cool. But to this school every thing about me is change, i am not like them.They already hate me for this. Now at this school every body havs the same opinions. But i have diferent ones. I really belive in one thing and took plave in a silent protest about it a few days ago. then a day of two after that i was pushed down the stairs and called some not so nice things begause i stood up for what i belive in.what should i do? I can't tell the principal because he is like them and my parents dont belive me. thanks, DraNerd Dear DraNerd, Don't try too hard to impress others (but it sounds like you already are following that.) It's a good thing to be different because everyone thinks differently. Is there a school counselor, or other adult you can go to or even someone your age to confide in? Not everyone in one school would be a zombie to another's thoughts. It doesn't matter what is 'cool' or not because it's just a temporary school thing. What matters is who you are. Remember, doing the right thing isn't always what everyone would agree with. Continue sticking up for what you believe in. I'm proud of you for doing that. -Alana :) Dear Alana, In 5th grade, I had a very small (3 people) circle of friends. We were always nice to everyone in school and were open to anybody who wanted to come sit with us at lunch. In 6th grade I wanted to get to know some more people by sitting at different tables at lunch. When I noticed another group of girls that I've known from my other classes, I started to wonder if they were open to me sitting with them. One of my best friends from that group was more than welcome for me to come and sit with them. A couple of days after I started sitting with this new group (during that time they were nice to me) my other friends came to this table too. At first my new friends didn't seem to notice but after awhile, they started to give me dirty looks and act as if I wasn't there. I tried to talk to my new friends and tell them it isn't my fault they were following me around. Soon they stopped with the dirty looks after awhile. Now I'm in 7th grade and my best friend that was already a part of this group started acting like she didn't know me. I asked her why she was acting this way and she said that she doesn't want to be my friend anymore. I asked her what happened to all the time we spent together, and she said that she never had a good time. Now my old friends that I sat with are drifting away from me and the other girls besides my best friend don't want me with them either. Every once in awhile I try to approach my best friend, but she ends up saying something hurtful. I try to ignore it most of the time but for awhile she has been really cruel to me. HELP!!!!! Dear Anonymous, People do end up drifting away, which hurts. Do you have other friends you can sit with? Or you can make new friends by sitting at other tables. The old friends are still nice right? If they are, and you're sure they're drifting away, try to get together, find something you all enjoy and have fun. These people won't be the only friends you have in your life, and there will be others you might have more fun with. If one girl really is mean to you, then it is best to ignore her. In some cases, they don't know what they're saying, and other times, they want to move on. Do you have at least one real friend out of the group in or out of school? You don't have to limit yourself to one or two groups. If they're sure of what they're saying, then it's best to avoid them. Remember, there are plenty of other kids to hang out with in the school, but be careful about whom you trust. -Alana :) Dear Alana, I have always believed that I was smart because I got good grades, but recently I've been teased because I can't pick up the little tricks and details inside those silly intelligence quizzes. The person bragged and pushed it that I didn't do well. I refuse to speak to the people responsible, who have been somewhat friendly, but now I doubt my brain capacity. How do I get over it? -Smart Brunette??? Dear Smart, Since you called those quizzes 'silly,' then part of you doesn't believe in the results. This so-called 'quiz 'was probably a joke, so don't take it too seriously. Since you get good grades, you have to be smart. Don't fall for stereotypes, because it isn't true. Cool down, and rethink about still talking to these people if they are somewhat friendly. - Alana :) I tried to call and email this guy that I liked but it didn't work. What should I do? I need some tips on How to get a guy to ask me to the SNOWBALL DANCE. Can you help me? -AM Dear AM, Try and strike up a casual converstaion with this guy, but not overdone. At some point, bring it up, but not too randomly. Take a chance, but if he says no, there are plenty of other guys and sometimes you will have to risk hearing a 'no.' Alana, I have a problem with this girl at my school, and I was relly upset over it. I do not know what I should do, so can you tell me what I should about it and how to not worry about it?
Dear Anonymous, Try not to make more trouble than it's worth. I don't know what this problem is, but you might worry. Try not to think about that too much, and focus on the positive things. Squabbles do happen, but try to understand from her point of view. Maybe you can work things out together. If not, don't make a huge deal out of it. -Alana :) Dear Alana, I need some advice; i am single, and there is this one guy that is really cute. But he's in a diffrent school and a diffrent town. He is really cute, and my friend likes him 2 and so what should I do? - AM Dear AM, Try to work things out with your friend, so there isn't an unneeded fight. As for the boy, you don't always have to meet in person. You can talk on the phone, email etc, but don't overdo it. You can always become good friends with him and your other friend. You can all hang out together and get to know each other better. Enjoy -Alana :) Alana, I love to eat. I eat a lot all the time, and when i'm sad i have comfort food. But, a couple days ago these boys started to tease me and now no one sits with me at lunch because they think my eating will disgust them. The truth is I'm a really picky eater so when I get something i like I have to much of it, what should I do? - streching the scales Dear stretching the scales, it's ok to eat when you're hungry. Just be careful about how you eat it, such as don't chew with your mouth open or have napkins around to wipe your face and hands when they're dirty(things like that). It doesn't mattter what these boys say. You can eat what you want as long as you don't overdo on sweets or underdo on healthy foods. It might be easier to take what seems like a less heaping food amount at first, and go back for seconds if you're still hungry after that. -Alana :) Dear Alana, I have this friend who has lice and i'm scared to hang out with her because I don't want it but I really like her and she did tell me she had lice what should I do? love, Wonderful Dear Wonderful, If this girl has lice, it's better not to share personal things like combs, hats, headbands etc because lice are highly contagious. If it's head lice, it can be treated by a special shampoo recommended by a doctor. If it's body lice, it can be treated by keeping clean. (Fresh changes of clothes, shower, washing worn cloths and bed sheets in the hot cycle on a washing machine etc.) You can still hang out with your friend. You can talk to her by phone, email, or traditional letters. Just be a little more careful when your friend is around, but let her know that you're there for her. It will pass. You can see more of this information on http://www.cdc.gov/ncidod/dpd/parasites/lice/factsht_body_lice.htm. - Alana :) Dear Alana, One of my best friends is older than I am, and that's why I felt a little uncomfortable going to her coed party. After a while she wanted to play 7 minutes in heaven. When I got a really sweet and cute boy I went into the closet. But, when I felt really uncomfortable and left the closet, she got mad and told me that if I didn't play she wouldn't be my friend, what should I do? - kissing catastraphe Dear Kissing Catastrophe, It's OK to go at your own speed with relationships as long as its not over the top fast. Your friend probably didn't understand how uncomfortable you were. She is also a little older which set the difference. When you are ready for things like this (games like 7 minutes in heaven), it will happen with time. Give your friend some time to cool off. She can't be mad forever. If you know you'll be uncomfortable at these types of places, it's best that you didn't attend in the first place. About making big decisions like this, it's best that you stick up for what you believe in because it won't cause guilt later. The only one who can make the decision is you. -Alana :) Dear Alana, Everytime I call my friend she tells me she'll call me back, but she doesn't. What should I do? Dear Anonymous, There is more than one way of communication. There are many ways such as e-mail, instant messaging, traditional mail, or in person. Your friend could just be busy with a tight schedule and be tired from a long day. You can always reach her because it isn't like you won't see or hear from her again. -Alana :) Dear Alana, I love to write, but one of my best friends is the better writer. I come up with these fab ideas for a story, but I can never follow through because I feel that i'll never be as good as her. She's so nice about my writing, and she even has offered to help, but i can never accept, what should i do? - Writer in Progress Dear Writer, It doesn't matter how good another person is. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder, so some could like your writing as much as the other girls work. This girl probably works hard. You can always get tips from her and have her look over what you have done. However, don't overreact to criticism if there is any. If you really put your mind to something and are passionate about it, you'll follow through and will have something you'll be proud of to keep forever. Writing is an excellent hobby. -Alana :) Dear Alana, I have a boyfriend and then I have this friend and it seems everytime she talks to him she'll talk to him for an hour, then when she calls me she tells me they talked. And I don't care and all but tonight I just talked to her and she said he was going to dump me. An this guy and I have went out and the same thing happened she talked to him and dumped me but this time it really hurt me and now i'm really wondering also who is the one coming up with the idea for dumping I really like this kid and we never talk, but he talks to my so called friend. This really makes me wonder what should I do or what should I say? I mean I know what your thinking.. You're to young to have a boyfriend but I don't get it. Love, SADNESS :-( Dear Sadness, To be positive that this guy is dumping you, you have to hear it from him. If it is from someone else, it could be made up. I don't know for sure, but maybe your friend likes this guy also, and that can bring out competition between girls. It's okay for them to talk if they're friends. If he wont talk to you, you should talk to him about what's going on. If he does dump you, it definately will hurt, but there are more fish in the sea and plenty of distractions to keep your mind busy. Maybe it would also be good to speak to your friend as to why she is doing what she is. Is this normal behavior for her? If she's mad, give her a little while to cool down. If you like this guy, you should say so. -Alana :) Dear Alana, Anyways I have this problem my friend and I got in a fight because she said that our talent show act was stupid... But she made over half the dance up and I made the rest up. What should I do? love, Used and Sadness :-( Dear Used, Maybe your doesn't want to preform this routine. You can always ask her what's wrong with it and maybe she'll open up and voice her opinion. Try not be offended if she feels the way she does because everyone is entitled to their own opinion. About this routine, you can always change the dance steps. If your friend really doesn't want to preform it, you can always do it alone. If you want to do something with her, you two can make up another dance or create something totally new. -Alana :) Dear Alana, Next year i'll be in 7th grade. What advice can you give me? love, wondering Dear Wondering, Seventh grade is definately a step up from sixth grade. You grow more, and maybe have more difficult classes. Don't be amarmed. You are moving up and it's natural to be curious and a little worried. You have your friends, and family to love and support you. I think you will do well. Have an awesome summer in the meantime! -Alana :) I think that sixth grade was a little tough, but seventh grade seemed even harder. Cliques stand out more, and sometimes life seems so tough it's almost too hard to breath when you think about. Looking back with my friends, I say that I hate some of those girls that were in my class. But do I really? Throughout last year (7th) I heard all these stories about what it was like at my school the years before, because I had just moved up here last July. Last year it was just so hard, because no matter how hard I tried to fit in, I never really did. And when every girl around you says they hate another, I kept thinking "do you even know what hate means?" because they used it soooo much. But I guess coming from an awesome school 60 miles away where every one fit in and was treated like a friend (I'm not kidding), it just made me miss my "old life" even more. The only way I made it though was thinking about my freedom from "Prison" in the summer, my friends, and a story I started working on at the beginning of the year. -jjpoet Dear jjpoet, There is a time in many lives where it gets tough. Cliques do stand out as you get older. Many can relate about feeling left out at certain times, and you're not alone. It is hard moving from one place to an area entirely new. You can still stay in contact with your old friends and visit them a few times. It really doesn't matter about blending in when you should be happy with who you are because you sound like an amazing person. People really shouldn't hate each other. It is probably just retaliation of anger. Hate is a really strong emotion. Anyways, you don't have to give up what you left behind, you can always go back to this awesome place. Sooner or later, maybe you'll feel at home at this new place. -Alana :) Dear Alana, I have a friend that is really not talking to me and she doesn't seem to care about me. What should I do? -AM Dear AM, Your friend might have other things on the brain and she might be putting more time for that. You could try talking to her to see what's wrong. If she doesn't open up, just try to be supportive and let her know you're there for her. However, is this a time where a lot of stress breaks out? If it is, your friend simply might be dealing with that in a different way than you would. After it passes, you two will have plenty of time together! -Alana :) |
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