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OLD ADVICE! hi Alana, There is something that I think is making me mad, but I do not know if it is really making me mad. I feel like my friend is not my friend because she acts like she does not like me. What should I do ? Anonymous Dear Anonymous, Take a deep breath and try to recall why you're mad. Are you just stressed out because of future tests and projects? If you are really stressed you can get that anger out my punching a pillow, squeezing a stress ball etc. About your friend, she probably has stress of her own. She probably is handling it differently that you would. Maybe it would be a good idea to talk to her. If she doesn't want to talk, this girl might just might want more alone time. Summer is coming up so you'll have a lot of time together then. -Alana :) Dear Alana, Finals are coming up and every teacher, even the ones who never give homework, are dumping piles of papers on us. It will never take me a week and a half to finish everything. Do you have any tips? -Final Breath Dear Final, It really depends on how much you have to finish. Try organizing your papers by class and time. If they are questions you have to answer, make a schedule that gives to time for everything. YOu can say that you could put a half hour per class or answer a certain amount of questions per day. If there are just topics you have to study, look over notes and previous quizzes and tests that you have used with that. It's better to put more time in to things you don't understand as well. If you don't understand any few things on the topic, go to a parent or the teacher that is giving this final. YOu can also study with a friend and test each others wits. There are many things to look over. -Alana :) Dear Alana, I keep finding threatening notes in my locker at school and I don't know who it is. They are scaring me and I feel isolated because nobody can relate. HELP!!!!! -Alert Dear Alert, YOu should show them to your school principal or your parents. They probably will be able to track this person down and you won't be threatened anymore. Don't be afraid. It's common to get notes in your locker, but if they are mean, this person shouldn't be scaring you. Alana :) Dear Alana, This one boy at school is always giving me the evil eye and yelling in everyone's face. He thinks he's surpreme, but really he just has anger issues. When anyone tells this kid to calm down, he never listens. How do I deal with him? -Flame wit flame Dear Flame, This person probably is just frustrated. Ask him to stop glancing at you if it makes you uncomfortable. If this guy doesn't listen, you should tell the principal of your school. This kid might listen to adults. It just takes a little patience to deal with someone who gets mad easily. Try to watch what you say. It's always worth a try. -Alana :) Dear Alana, At school people usually don't give me the time of day. Now most of my school has been acting as if I'm they're best friend. What do you think caused the turnaround? Am I right to be suspicious? -Alice Dear Alice, It is natural to wonder what the swtch is all about, but people probably want to be more outgoing and make friends. You can be friendly back, but you never know what the real intentions are so you might not want to take a risky leap and reveal too much info. Just enjoy the company. It's nice to be noticed once in a while. -Alana :) Dear Alana, I am in love with this guy, but he's out of my league. He lives all the way across the country and he's almost a celebrity. I know he will find a girlfriend before I can meet him. How do I fall out of love before I get my heart broken? Strikeout Dear Strikeout, Everyone has a celebrity crush at some point. You may not even be in love with him, but with love itself. Try to distract yourself with hobbies and your usual routine. You can still enjoy this person's talents, but don't sell yourself short. You might meet him one day. -Alana :) Dear Alana, My siblings are always hogging the TV and they watch the most useless shows. Since one is in preschool and the other is in elementary school the shows they pick are soooo stupid. **yawn**. How can I ever get anything done with them blaring the volume? -Dezz Tracted Dear Dezz, If you can't work near them, try moving to a quieter location. The farther you are from your siblings the easier it will be to do your work. Or you can turn the volume down yourself. If you can't turn it down a few notches, wear sound-drowning headphones. Either way it will be quieter. -Alana :) Dear Alana, At school people usually don't give me the time of day. Now most of my school has been acting as if I'm they're best friend. What do you think caused the turnaround? Am I right to be suspicious? -Alice Dear Alice, It is natural to wonder what the swtch is all about, but people probably want to be more outgoing and make friends. You can be friendly back, but you never know what the real intentions are so you might not want to take a risky leap and reveal too much info. Just enjoy the company. It's nice to be noticed once in a while. -Alana :) Dear Alana, I am in love with this guy, but he's out of my league. He lives all the way across the country and he's almost a celebrity. I know he will find a girlfriend before I can meet him. How do I fall out of love before I get my heart broken? Strikeout Dear Strikeout, Everyone has a celebrity crush at some point. You may not even be in love with him, but with love itself. Try to distract yourself with hobbies and your usual routine. You can still enjoy this person's talents, but don't sell yourself short. You might meet him one day. -Alana :) Dear Alana, My siblings are always hogging the TV and they watch the most useless shows. Since one is in preschool and the other is in elementary school the shows they pick are soooo stupid. **yawn**. How can I ever get anything done with them blaring the volume? -Dezz Tracted Dear Dezz, If you can't work near them, try moving to a quieter location. The farther you are from your siblings the easier it will be to do your work. Or you can turn the volume down yourself. If you can't turn it down a few notches, wear sound-drowning headphones. Either way it will be quieter. -Alana :) Dear Alana, I am having major trouble in one of my classes. I ask all the questions I can, yet I never understand the answers I get. My teacher makes the class seem so complex. How do I finally understand? -Rebelle Dear Rebelle, It's good to ask questions, but you also could write them down and ask your family or friends who understand the concepts. You can also see another teacher about the material you have to learn. Happy Hunting. -Alana :) Hi Alana, One of my best friends does not like me! What should I do? J-Dance Dear J-Dance, It's possible that this friend is mad about something. Try to talk to her/him about it. Maybe something is bothering her/him. Show that you care about her/him, but if this person really doesn't like you I wouldn't trust her/him with too much information. If this person doesn't want to be friends anymore try to move on and hang out with others. -Alana :) Dear Alana, I want to write a good essay for class and I can't think of a topic. I can't find anything to write about. It's a non fiction essay on anything we choose. How do I find something great? -Writer's block. Dear Writer's Block, You don't have to think too hard like your life depends on it. Think of a problem and some ways it can be solved with a conclusion. Writing is something you have complete power with, not to sound too corny or anything. Think of something at school or global that you think is a problem. Plan out what you want to say and then write the essay. Good Luck. -Alana :) Dear Alana, My little brother always humiliates me, especially when my crush is around. He will "accidently" spill water on my pants, plant a whoopee cousion under the seat pillow or put my underwear on the floor. No matter how much I threaten him or get even, he plays some trick. How do I stop it? -Blush Dear Blush, Maybe he's doing this to be funny instead of mean or he just wants some attention. Instead of threatening him or getting revenge, you could bribe him. Let him listen to your CD set or give him some candy if he's good. Tell your parents about what he does because they trust you and will probably put an end to his pranks. -Alana :) Dear Alana, I wanted a solo in chorus forever. However I always lose out. I tried out for my favorite song and the teacher knew I really wanted it. However, he gave the solo away to some older girl. My teacher even wanted the soloist to sing it again. He hates me I just know it because he just happened to only repeat that song which he just happened to know I wanted because I just happened to suggest it. Now I have to hear another girl sing when I know I'm just as talented. How can I get over it? -Melody Dear Melody, Sometimes we don't get the things we want. Your teacher is only trying to be fair about giving parts out. If you don't get this solo, you'll get another one. You can always sing the song for your friends and family. You can always enter a talent show with your friends or have your own. Think about how good the songs at the concert will sound. Think of how much you love it, no matter who is singing it. Try out for more solos in the future and you will get your day in the spotlight. -Alana :) Dear Alana, I have a HUGE crush on this guy. I am crazy in love with him, but I can't talk to guys. What should I do? -AM Dear AM, Try talking to him a little more as a friend. Find something you two have in common if you are on a team or in class together. If you can't find anything, look a little deeper into the situation. Try to ask friends who are more comfortable talking to guys. If he doesn't give you the time of day after everything, is he really worth it? -Alana :) Dear Alana, I have been keeping a diary and my little brother keeps trying to steal it. I can't hide it because he will find it and I can't take it around with me because I have no place to put it. He has a HUGE mouth (literally and non-literally). Personal information (like my crush and secrets) are in it. How can I stop him before he starts to blackmail me? -Fear and Panic Dear Panic, You can either lock your room door (with a key that you have) or you can start carrying around a purse big enough. It might help in more ways than one. You can disguise the fact that it's your diary by giving the cover a new look and saying that it's a school book. If none of those work, tell your parents what's been going on. They will surely talk some sense into your brother. _Alana_:) Dear Alana, I've been enemies with this girl when I was away at camp. Now she's come back to haunt me because she's new at school and she hasn't forgotten anything. How can we call a truce before she tries to strangle me? _Victim Dear Victim, try showing the more gentle side of yourself. Be a little friendly towards this girl and she should be friendly back if she really wants to start over. Try showing her around the school until she can find a group of her own. If she's using physical violence, go see the guidance counselor or principal. Don't try to fight her yourself, then she'll just get worse. -Alana Dear Alana, I've been e-mailing this guy, but he never responds. I've tried to get my friend to talk to him, but she hasn't told me anything either. I think she's putting this off because she wants this guy for herself. She never lies to me and is always quick with an answer. Is she hiding something and should I be suspicious? -Loveless Dear Loveless, Maybe this guy is busy and doesn't check his email often. Your friend is probably honest when she tells you these things. If she talked to this guy already like she promised, there wasn't good news and she doesn't want to hurt you. Try promising her that you won't get upset if she has bad news. Your friend might just be deciding on a right way to tell you. If you need the scoop on what's up with this guy then call him yourself or insist your friend that you need to know. If she doesn't tell you afterwards, just call this guy or write a letter. -Alana :) Dear Alana, My friend who lives far away wants to email her crush who goes to my school. She told me that he doesn't email her back and she wanted me to talk to him about it. When I did he told me that he isn't really in tune with her and doesn't really want to be in contact. How can I tell my friend this without hurting her? Whatever I do I can't lie to her. -Caught in Middle Dear Middle, I'm afraid there is no way to tell her this sad news without her feeling at least a little hurt. It's nobody's fault that this guy feels like this. Your friend will understand and move on in the end. It isn't a good idea to lie, like you said because then you'll be caught in this even more. The best way to say this to your friend is to include some good news about what's going on (if there is any). She can't be mad at you for being honest. -Alana :) Dear Alana, I really am tired of the projects. I don't have any time to myself anymore. What should I do?
-AM Dear AM, Try to finish your projects before the due date. It will come at some point so you can have some rest at last. Don't put too much pressure on yourself because it's not like your life dependent on this one grade, but it is an important task. Once you turn in your assignment and get a grade, you'll finally relax. -Alana :) Dear Alana, I really like this guy, and he is too hot. I can't stop thinking about him. I really love him. What do I do? - AM Dear AM, If you're really into this guy, try asking him out. However, you might want to drop hints and flirt a little first. Try giving him some smiles. You want to be sure he's into you before you ask him out. Make sure he's not already taken because if this guy has a girlfriend, chances are that you might need to move on. To work up the courage of asking him out hang out first. Find something you two have in common. If you get to know each other better, you might be a match. -Alana :) Dear Alana, There is a HUGE test coming up and I am studying my butt off. However the test is in math, my absolute worst subject. I am always getting C's in that class and I want to bring my grade up to an A or at least a B. How can I do that? -Preppie Dear Preppie, It does help to study. However, you won't understand everything at first. Try asking your parents for extra help or go in to school early (or stay a little later) to ask for more of an explanation on the concepts you don't get. If you really try and prepare, you will get the grade you deserve. -Alana :) Dear Alana,I can babysit and I want a gig where the new neighbor lives. She has two extremely cute kids and a medium-sized dog. However the b****y twins who live a block from me, Wanda and Pamela, want the gig too and they always tells me that I won't get this job because I haven't taken a course. They think I don't know it as well as they do because thay have a certificate. I can do just as good of a job without a stupid certificate right? -Takes better care Dear Care, It does help to have a certificate because people who leave the house in your care want to be sure you can be trusted. There is a law about it. That DOESN'T mean you can't do as well as they can. Don't let these girls get to you. If you don't get this job, find another place to babysit. _Alana :) Dear Alana, There is a group of girls that I hang out with and they are all much more gorgeous than I am. They are extremely nice and popular and they aren't like most groups at school. They accept me and I fit in with them. However, sometimes I don't think I can measure up to their standards. That is mostly because guys like them and I wish someone would like me too! How can I get more beautiful? -Rabbit puss Dear Rabbit, Don't get yourself down. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder. Guys can be extremely shy around girls and since you're on the popular side they might not think that you would like them back. Be yourself, and someone will acknowledge that. It might take longer for you than for others but true love will come someday. If by less pretty, you mean that you get acne or have dry skin, try washing your body daily with moisturizing cream and soap. To zap zits, buy some acne cream or see a doctor but rest assured, it's perfectly normal. Since people like you for you, it doesn't matter how you look. Just don't show off your social status or change who you are for attention. -Alana :) Dear Alana, I have a crush on this one guy but I am suspicious that he likes another girl. We are great friends and knew each other a while. He told me he was looking around for this girl he just met because he didn't want her to see him in the shirt he was wearing. I know this girl well. She is a year younger than us and she thinks my crush has a big head. However I am confused on what's going on. Does my crush like this girl? -Can't tell Dear Can't Tell, It isn't that likely that your crush will want someone younger but it's possible considering he doesn't want to be caught in a certain shirt. However, if you were there when the two met, you could have seen their reactions with each other. If he is with you most of the time and he knows you know this girl, he might tell you what he thinks. Since this girl is paying attention to flaws on this guy, she doesn't like him. I think his attitude about her wasn't too affectionate. You probably need more proof before you jump to conclusions. -Alana :) Dear Alana, I have two neighbors who I consider friends (Let's just call them Clara and Vicky). They talk to me for a little while but when a third girl comes on the bus, I'm ancient history. This happens every day where I live. When I try to talk to them at school, they "don't hear me" even when I talk loudly. Clara and Vicky seem so distant now. Why won't they listen to me? -AlwaysNeglected Dear Neglected, I think Clara and Vicky aren't really loyal friends. If they "don't hear you" and this is a common excuse, they aren't really listening. However, you still might not be talking loud enough for them to hear. Be careful about who you are calling a "friend". I understand that you don't want to lose Clara and Vicky but these girls are probably either hard on ears, are preoccupied, or they are snobs. Either way, try to meet new people. -Alana Dear Alana, I'm happy that it's the new year but so far nothing is going right. One of my birds died, my younger sister is still a pest, and I am trying hard not to break my resolution. (Swearing is hard not to do when you know so many words.) How can I not break my resolution so early? -Pressure Dear Pressure, It might be easier if you forget these words and focus on something else. It's hard when you lose a pet or are being annoyed by a sibling. You want a constant reminder of not breaking your resolution like writing it down somewhere. Also think before you speak and you will accomplish your goal. -Alana :) Dear Alana, I'm going on vacation for Christmas holidays. The only thing is that I don't really want to go because it's so cold. Will I be able to convince my folks somehow? -Shiver Dear Shiver, Any vacation will be a good one. Bring a few extra (heavier) clothes and jackets. Before you go on the trip, have a hot meal. You can always fall asleep on the ride so you won't think about it. I don't think it will do any good to get out of the trip. Parents can actually be right even though the advice they give seems weird. -Alana :) Dear Alana, I need to take up a sport because I'm getting lazy. However I'm not athletic. How can I exercise and not have a team mad at me? -Ray Bolt Dear Ray, You don't have to take up a sport for exercise. You can jog or you can swim or simply walk around outside. If you really want to take a sport you can practice with a relative or teammate. Remember, you don't have to be the best at everything. -Alana :) Dear Alana, I have just found out that my long-time crush split with his girlfriend. I have been asking her about it for a while because she is one of my good friends. However, I think I am falling for my BGF. I am comfortable talking to him and we see a lot of each other even though we aren't at the same school. However my other crush goes to my school and I have known him longer. Who should I choose? -Anita Choice Dear Anita, It depends on who you are MORE comfortable talking to and who treats you better. If your crush who split with his girlfriend doesn't treat you well enough as a friend or you don't feel right talking to him, choose your BGF. Even if you don't go to the same school you can still be tight with him. You don't have to be in the same town to have a relationship. -Alana :) Dear Alana, I think this guy I'm crushing on likes me back. He is so funny, nice, smart, and good-looking. We talk often. He smiles whenever I smile and he shared chocolate candy with me at a recent party. I don't want to embarrass myself by saying that I like him. How can I be positive that he feels the same way? - small girl, BIG Heart Dear Big Heart, You don't know for sure that he really feels the same way. That is a risk you will have to take. You can work up the courage to say something or you can wait until he makes a move. Or you can just stay friends for now. It might not be a good idea to rush things at first. -Alana :) Dear Alana, I want to start having a tag sale where I live. However I don't have any neighbors that are my age and I don't live in a suburban area. How can I get people interested. -Priced Dear Priced, You can start preparing for the tag sale a few days earlier by making fliers to put around your school and town. You can also put an ad in your local paper or your school newspaper. Show how interesting your business is. -Alana :) Hi Alana . I've been really mad for a few days. I do not know why and I think it is because of the way my life has been and it hasn't been good. I need help on what I should do to get over it so I can be happy again. -J-Dance Dear J-Dance If you don't know why you've been so mad the best thing you can do is get over it. Think of the happiest things you can or listen to some of your favorite songs to cheer up. It is just hormones that are making you act this way. If you aren't getting the grades you want in school study more or ask for help. If you are having friend problems, talk to someone you trust. -Alana :) Dear Alana, Since I transferred schools, nothing has been going right. My school rival started a rumor that I peed in my pants just because someone accidentally knocked limeade on my jeans at lunch. To top that off when I left the room I walked into the guys bathroom and my crush was there and I was so shocked that the beans I ate finally let themselves out. A smilar thing happened at my other school that everyone still talks about. Is there any way that I can stop embarrassing myself? - Beaver Dear Beaver, There is no way you can change what happened. You couldn't have prevented what happened (except walking into the guys room). Try to look where you are going next time. The best thing is to act like nothing happened and act like it's funny. Also see Jackie's page. Embarrassment is the topic this week. See do's and don'ts for more Dear Alana, My best friend is moving across the country tomorrow. I'ts a major blow to me bacause she's one of my only friends and we've known each other since preschool. Will I be able to get over her? Will I be able to make more friends even with a reputation for being nerdy? *Weird Sista* Dear Sista, You might have only her as a friend because either you're not willing to trust others as much or you're shy. Try making friends with another person who might be equally shy. Also, keep in touch with your first friend. You don't want to lose her. -Alana :) Dear Alana, We had a Secret Santa gift exchange at school a few days ago and the person who got me didn't get me anything. Do they not like me? -Ghost of Christmas Present Dear Ghost, This probably has nothing to do with you. There could be many reasons why they didn't bring you anything, like they forgot who they picked or they weren't in school for days. Even if you don't celebrate Christmas, you will get many more presents and on New Years Eve, you get to stay up until Midnight. There are too many things to be happy about. Don't get upset over one thing. -Alana Hey Alana, I am considered overweight at school and guys won't talk to me. How can I lose some weight? -Anchor Dear Anchor, You can cut down on the calories and cut down on fast food. Also getting active outdoors and indoors with sports can help reduce those extra pounds. Remember if guys don't like you just by judging you on how you look they aren't worth it at all. Alana :) Dear Alana, One of my friends follows me EVERYWHERE. I'm followed to my locker, to my lunch seat and my friend wants to always be next to me. I like the fact that I can be nice but I feel like I'm being stalked. I have tried to ask for my space but my friend doesn't get the hint. I don't want to ditch her but I feel like it's my only option. How do I cope? -Need a restraining order Dear Restraining order This friend might not have many other people in their inner circle so they have to rely on you for any attention. Don't ditch her because that would be mean. Tell her that you need your space or ask the guidance counselor to settle this with her. Sometimes kids listen to adults more than to others. I don't blame you for wanting her to feel more independent. -Alana :) I got a Borders gift card that has ten dollars. I really want to spend it. When I told my sis and she started to cry. What should I do? - AM Dear AM, Your sister is probably jealous that you have something she doesn't have. Try not to remind her about it or it will seem like you are rubbing the info in her face. You could use the ten dollars to get something for both of you. Maybe that will make it up to her. Or you could buy something that you two could share. -Alana :) There is a boy at school that is really cute. I can't stop thinking about him and I just want to be friends and maybe go to the movies but how can I ask him?
-AM shy Dear AM Try asking him when your alone together, that way nobody gets teased. If he's always near someone else, send a letter or email the person. You can write down a list of topics and start out casual then when you know him a little better ask him to join you at the movies. -Alana :) Dear Alana, My friend is becoming a socalite and trying to make herself popular. Everyone sees right through it (even me) but the kicker is that she's ditching me for her new crowd. Does this have anything to do with me? -Totally Used Dear Used, Your friend just might be insecure about her social life. Many think popularity stops gossipers and rumor spreaders but it doesn't. This doesn't have much to do with you. It has more to do with her. Maybe you are just two completely different people. You can try to be outgoing so you don't have only one attention source. It isn't worth it to go out of your way to be popular. If this girl is just using you, try not to hang out with her as much. -Alana :) Dear Alana, Cliques at school won't accept me and one of my friends has become a clique-lover (someone who sucks up to them). What should I do? Alone Dear Alone, It doesn't matter if cliques won't accept you. Try not to go out of your way to become popular because it isn't worth it. You should have your own friends (and don't split a perfect friendship because of belief.) Completely ignore what the cliques say about you because they will break up eventually. If someone else wants to join you and your friends, accept them because you'll know what it's like to be ignored. -Alana :) Dear Alana, At school, I'm not a very good test taker so that kills my grades big time. What should I do? -TruelySmart Dear Smart, You might not understand the questions or you need help studying. Ask your teachers for help or ask your parents because the more help you get the better. Also see Jackie's Do's and Don'ts. This week, (Nov.24) her topic is school. -Alana :) Dear Alana, I have a crush on a boy and he is really cute but I can't talk to him and when he walks over I am speechless. What should I do? AM shy Dear AM, If you want to have a good conversation with him, write down topics you would like to use and practice what you're going to say before you say it. If you are well rehersed you and this boy will have a great conversation. Dear Alana, I have a crush on a boy and he is really cute but I can't talk to him and when he walks over I am speechless. What should I do? AM shy Dear AM, If you want to have a good conversation with him, write down topics you would like to use and practice what you're going to say before you say it. If you are well rehersed you and this boy will have a great conversation. Alana, i'm going to a new school next year and i only know 1 person. what should i do? Dear Anonymous, Try to be more outgoing. If you are willing to meet new people than others will give you a chance. This one person you know might show you around and introduce you to some other people. You can always ask the guidance counselor and your parents for help and they're always willing. -Alana :) Hi Alana! There is a boy that is so so so so so so so so so hot and i can't keep my eyes off off him he is too cute so what should I do? -AM Shy Dear Shy, If you don't know this boy, talk to him and be yourself (but be polite). Try not to stare at him a lot because it tends to freak guys out. You want him to think you are a great girl (and I'm sure you are). If you don't like to talk to him in person, look up his address and send a letter or call his house. He might want to stay single right now so stay as just friends until one of you feels when it's right to make a move. -Alana :) Dear Alana and Jackie, There's someone at school who I really like and he's giving me signs that he likes me too. There are a few people at school who also like me and if I start going out with the one I like, the others will be broken-hearted. I can't stand that. -Too famous Dear famous, When you are ready just make the right move. If things don't turn out well than date one of the others who like you. If things with the person you like do turn out well, just be friends with the others. It might sting a little bit but everyone will eventually get over the whole issue and move on. -Alana and Jackie Dear Alana, This creep at school is always dissing me saying that I have lousy habits and that nobody likes me. I try to be as optimistic as I can so I don't believe him but he is on my bus all the time and lives near me so I have to hear his buzzing all afternoon. He was at one time a really cool person. Now I want him to shut up and leave me alone! What should I do? -Annoyedwitretard. Dear Annoyed, I don't blame you for wanting this guy to stop. Try going to your parents or the school counselor to clear up this mess. If he isn't serious about what he says than he might be crushing on you. If he is try to come up with things to tell him off but don't let him know you're hurt. If he is a bully than that's what he wants. -Alana :) Dear Alana, This girl at school is just downright mean. She tries to insult me on everything possible. Nobody really likes her and every time I try to say something she'll cut me off and try to say that I have anger management problems. Then she will continue her non-stop taunts. I've tried to talk to my parents but they won't say anything to her parents. HELP! -Pained Dear Pained, Girls at James Walk are mean also. (We should know) Middle school is a tough time for most everyone and about every school has one Drama Queen. Sometimes acting the way she does means she needs attention or her family has problems. That's no reason for her to take it out on you. If you don't get angry with her remarks and tell her calmly a response that shows no sign of emotion, there is a good chance she'll back off! -Alana and Jackie :)
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